On Friday afternoon, a man, identified as Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447, escaped from the police after being detained near Central Park for public indecency.
Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447 had been reportedly involved in a case of harassment earlier that afternoon at a local pizzeria in Lower Manhattan.
According to the police report, the man entered into a verbal confrontation with the pizzeria owner over a case of pineapple on pizza. After a heated exchange, Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447 pulled down his pants, exposing his penis, and subsequently escaped the scene carrying a slice of pepperoni pizza.
An NYPD officer identified Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447, running pantless south of Central Park.
“The man was carrying a slice of pepperoni pizza in one hand, and his face expressed a fit of profound rage,” reported the officer.
The police officer immediately intercepted Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447 and detained him for public indecency.
Refusing to cooperate, Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447 claimed to be exercising his First Amendment rights. According to the officer on the scene, Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447 argued that he had pulled down his pants to protest pineapple on pizza.
This case comes after a group of Italian Americans stormed a pizzeria in Washington, D.C., that used pineapple on pizza back in January. Authorities report that violence related to pineapple on pizza has increased dramatically in past years, reaching historic levels.
When the police officer proceeded to handcuff Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447, the half-naked man struggled against the officer and escaped from the scene.
The police officer chased Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447, who ran towards Midtown East. Nonetheless, the man managed to escape his pursuer.
A local hot-dog vendor reported having spotted Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447 near 1st Avenue.
“He was running like a mad man, without pants and carrying a slice of pepperoni pizza,” said the vendor.
Currently, Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447 is on the run, and his location is unknown.
“If anyone sees a pantless man with average-size male genitalia carrying a pepperoni pizza, please report it to the police,” said the NYPD in a press release.
